2 tough truths that made me a better manager
Hey team,
On the plane home from a recent hen do in Marbella with the girls, I found myself re-listening to a podcast episode I’ve now played three times over.
Each time it hits slightly differently.
I catch a new line. I see something in myself I hadn’t noticed before. It pulls me back into alignment with the kind of life, and leadership, I want to build.
And while I’d love for you to carve out the full 4 hours to experience it yourself, I want to share the 2 lessons that have stayed with me the most.
The ones I think every manager needs to hear.
My lessons are below, but this is the episode in question.
There are 2 important lessons in here I wish someone had drilled into me the moment I got promoted into that first leadership position on the Harrods shop floor.
Back then, I thought being liked made me a good manager.
Being helpful. Being across everything.
But, when I focused on being liked, it just lead me down a road of late nights, second-guessing myself, and constantly wondering if I was doing a good enough job.
And over the years, I came to realise I wasn’t short on effort. I was short on principles.
The kind of foundational thinking that helps you stay steady when everything else feels chaotic.
These two lessons sound simple. Almost too obvious to matter.
But when I started to actually live them, everything changed.
Let’s get into it.
Lesson 1. Discipline = Freedom
In the podcast, the host explains how we tend to think discipline is like a cage. Holding us ransom to do the things we HAVE to do (not want to do).
We tend to think freedom at work looks like flexibility, no rigid rules, total autonomy.
But real freedom, the kind where you’re not constantly stressed, playing catch up, or firefighting… That actually comes from having discipline in place.
Discipline with your calendar gives you space to think.
Discipline in feedback gives people room to grow.
Boundaries give you freedom. If you’re constantly deciding everything in real-time, what to eat, when to reply, whether to speak up in a meeting, you’ll burn out fast. But set a few rules for yourself (e.g. “I don’t check email before 10am,” or “I give feedback within 48 hours”), and suddenly your brain has space to focus on what matters.
Discipline with 1:1s gives you freedom. It’s easy to push back team check-ins when things get busy. But when you run regular, structured 1:1s, you create space for small issues to stay small. Your team becomes less reactive. You’re not pulled into daily firefighting.
Chaotic leadership feels exciting, until it starts costing you clarity, confidence, and your evenings.
Lesson 2. Ownership means owning the shit that isn’t your fault
This one’s tougher.
It’s tempting to say, “That wasn’t my decision,” or “That’s not my responsibility.”
But real leadership starts when you take ownership of things that technically weren’t your fault.
It doesn’t mean letting people off the hook. It means raising your hand to own the solution, not just the problem.
Someone on your team dropped the ball? It’s the lack of accountability in your culture.
Stakeholders unclear on your direction? It’s your communication.
The team’s burnt out? It’s your systems .
This isn’t about guilt or blame. But about taking back power.
When you take ownership, you get the opportunity to change it.
If you want to be a trusted, respected leader, discipline and ownership are two unglamorous, unsexy, essential traits that will quietly build your legacy.
What are you adding?
H
P.S. If you’re serious about becoming the kind of manager people remember, we’re building our YouTube channel just for you.
Just honest, practical videos to supercharge your management growth.
Subscribe here so you never miss a chance to level up.